A Bug Infestation
by Metoria
Summary: The boys have to deal with a very violent bug infestation.


Bug Infestation:

…

"Alright Carter, Newkirk get that radio piece to the underground."

"Right!" The two climbed down into the tunnel.

"Alright, they should get it in an hour or two." Hogan walked back to the stove where Lebeau was making some coffee.

"Since the patrols have lightened up they're not likely to have too much trouble right?" Kinch asked.

Hogan looked at him. "Who knows."

"Especially with those two." Lebeau added.

"Those two are quite a peculiar team." Hogan remarked.

After a few minutes Kinch asked. "How long do you think it will take them?" Kinch asked

The bunk flew open and two men climbed out. They scurried out so fast that they tumbled to the floor.

Hogan ran over. "Newkirk, Carter, what's wrong? What happened?"

The two were panting.

"Patrols?"

They shook their head.

"Is someone in the tunnel?"

"No!" Carter exclaimed.

"Bees sir!" Newkirk said standing up.

Hogan and Kinch looked at one another. "Bees?"

"Yeah!" The two said in unison.

Hogan sighed and took the radio piece from Newkirk and he and Kinch climbed down into the tunnel with much protest from Newkirk and Carter. But it was too late, the two men were down into the dark tunnel.

"We tried to warn them." Newkirk said shrugging.

It was only a matter of minutes before the two were back into the barracks again. "You may have a point. And they aren't bees they're wasps."

"Really?" Carter asked.

"I didn't bother to get close enough to look to be sure. Either way they were VERY aggressive." Hogan said. "Now how are we-"

"Colonel." Newkirk interrupted with wide eyes.

"There's one on me isn't there…" Hogan slowly turned his head to see a wasp climbing on his jacket sleeve. He quickly swiped it away knocking it the ground. It was stunned momentarily and Hogan then squashed it.

"One question," Newkirk stepped forward. "How did we get bees down there?"

"They dug a hole from up above the ground it finally broke out down there. Most likely anyway." Hogan closed the tunnel and sighed.

"Did you guys sustain any damage?" Lebeau asked.

The four looked at him. "Luckily no." Newkirk said.

"Speak for yourself!" Carter said holding his hand up. There in the skin was a small stinger stuck into his little finger.

"oooh." Newkirk winced looking at the swelling pinky.

"Come here Carter I'll pull it out with some tweezers." Hogan led Carter into his office and pulled out the tweezers.

From the other room they could hear everything.

"OW! Colonel, not so rough!"

"Well, hold still! I'm trying to pull it out!"

"OW! That's my skin not the stinger!"

"Hold… Still!"

"OW!"

"There…"

"That really hurt you know."

"Oh don't be such a crybaby…" Hogan said playfully.

The men could hear Carter groan and mumble as he was dismissed. He came out holding his hand.

"All better?" Newkirk asked with a smirk.

Carter just glared at him. His hand was killing him.

Hogan came out after Carter and headed for the table. "We've gotta figure out how to get rid of them, and fast. They're blocking our way to the emergency tunnel."

"How are we going to get rid of them? I hear it's nearly impossible? Newkirk said.

"Nearly but not totally."

"What if we blocked the bottom of their tunnel?"

"And 'ow do you plan on doin' that mate? We can't even get close to it."

"Well, maybe if we were well protected we could-"

"Carter, that's crazy."

"Well, I'd take a few stingings for the team." Carter declared.

"Great you do that, but don't come crawlin' to me when you need us to pull the stingers out."

"Fine!" Carter turned went to his bunk.

Hogan shook his head. "We'll sleep on it. There's no getting out tonight. Kinch contact the underground and tell them of the delay.

"Right." Kinch hopped down the ladder and went to the radio room.

…

The next morning during roll call.

…

"All present and accounted for."

"Good!" Klink went to address the prisoners next. "Now I want all of you to stay away from that fence." He pointed to the fence near their emergency exit.

"Why?" Hogan asked.

"It is infested with bees. Well, you can go near it if you want to bet attacked by them, but if not stay away from the fence in fact stay away from all fences you shouldn't be near any of them!" Klink said evidently grumpy.

"Are you going to do anything to get rid of them?"

"We're trying to figure out a way to get rid of them."

Hogan shrugged and remained silent. So much for having Klink get rid of the wasps for them. There was no way he'd come up with a good plan.

"That is all, Dismissed!"

The men filed back into the barracks. "So what are we going to do about the wasps, sir?"

"I'm not sure…" Hogan took a seat at the table and thought while Lebeau poured some coffee. "What are all the ways to get rid of bees?"

"Smoking them out…"

"Burning them out."

"Burying them…"

"They'll just dig themselves out again."

"What if you put a giant rock over the hole?" Kinch offered.

"Where'd Carter go?" Hogan asked looking around.

The men also looked around the barracks and found that Carter had indeed gone.

"Probably went down to-"

BANG!

"Hey, Guys!" Carter burst through the door. "I got an idea!"

"Does it involve being quiet?" Newkirk asked sarcastically.

Carter ignored him. "What if one of us distracted the bees above the ground while others filled the hole below the ground?"

"Nope, it involves lots of screams." Newkirk crossed his arms.

Carter gave him a dirty look and ignored him.

"So who is going to volunteer to distract the wasps?" Hogan asked. None of the men spoke up.

"Fine!" Carter groaned and twirled around. "I'll do it!" He grabbed Newkirk's heavy coat from the footlocker.

"Mate, What are you doin'?" Newkirk asked.

"I'm getting extra protection!" He put the heavy coat.

"You're going to over heat." Hogan noted.

"At least I'm protected."

"Carter, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'll be okay. I'm not allergic."

"Not yet…" Kinch remarked.

"Huh?"

"Get stung too much and you could become allergic."

Carter thought about it. "Well, I'll just have to get extra protection." Carter began looking around. "If I had a shovel that would really get their attention."

Hogan exchanged a worried glance with Kinch. "You're going get yourself killed."

"They're just bees." Carter said taking Newkirk's heavy boots.

Hogan sighed. "Carter why don't we think of another way to get rid of these bees."

"And how do you figure we do that?" Carter asked from behind Lebeau's scarf.

Hogan hesitated. "I have no idea."

"Well, I guess that's it…" Carter turned wearing his full grade armor… sort of, and headed out into the compound.

"Where's he going?" Newkirk asked.

"Up to Schultz."

Carter walked up to Schultz. "Hey Schultz!"

Schultz turned to see a man dressed as though he were heading into a snow storm. The only things that made it weird were, one: he was a prisoner so he wouldn't be going out into a snow storm anyway, and two, it was the middle of summer. Schultz looked at the eyes that were the only things that were exposed. He pulled the scarf down. "Carter? What are you doing?"

"I'm going to attack the bees!" Carter said like a crazy person.

Schultz took a step back.

"I need a shovel." Carter said calmly.

"To dig for tunnels!"

"No to dig out the bees." Carter said calmly yet again.

"What's going on out there?" Klink yelled from his window.

"I'm trying to get rid of the bees." Carter said.

"Schultz give him what he wants! But keep a sharp eye on him!" Klink warned and then went back into his office. Apparently, he didn't want to deal with the bees and if some prisoner wanted to do it, that was fine by him.

Schultz sighed and got the young man a shovel. He followed him to the bees nest but didn't get too close. "Uhm, Carter why are you trying to get rid of the bees anyway?"

Carter thought of a good excuse. "Uhm… They're trying to get into the barracks. I got stung." He held up his hand.

"Oh that's terrible!" Schultz said sympathetically.

"Yeah." Carter brought the shovel up above his head and after hesitating a second brought it down over the hole making a loud clanking on the ground. It no doubt echoed throughout the tunnels of the bees.

After less than ten seconds a VERY loud, angry buzzing came from the hole. Carter ran a bit and began swinging the shovel to try and ward them off. Then he ran in an opposite direction still being chased by the angry insects.

Down below Lebeau and Kinch were working on the hole and trying to fill it in so the bees would stay away from their tunnel. Using mud and an old tin can, they would pushed it into the hole and plastered it with mud. They would do the same thing for the area around the hole so they didn't come out anywhere else in the surrounding area of the hole.

Up above, the German soldiers had fled the scene and Carter was still running in a circle around the hole. Hogan had geared up to help him. He grabbed one of the men's baseball bats and was fending off the bees as well.

If he and Carter weren't so worried about being stung it would have been kind of fun. "Ow!" Hogan had gotten stung.

"Sir! Are you okaay-AY!" Carter jumped forward; he was stung.

"We've gotta retreat!" Hogan shouted over the unrealistically loud buzzing of the bees. He was back to back with Carter both wielding their weapons ready to defend themselves.

Carter looked around. Bees stormed at him in large hordes. "Okay! Go!"

They booked back to he barracks being stung the whole way back. "New plan!" Hogan said turning and running up to Klink's office.

Carter soared after his commanding officer and the two ran into the outer office slamming the door shut behind them, startling Hilda.

Klink ripped open his inner office door and peered out to find the two out of breath and bracing the door. "What are you doing?"

"Hoping the bees will go away." Carter said breathlessly.

"Hogan! What is the meaning of this?" Klink demanded. He walked up to the door and shoved the men aside.

"Sir! Don't open it!" Hogan warned backing up.

"Ha! You think I'll fall for that?"

Hogan turned grabbed Hilda and ran into the inner office. He slammed the door shut just as Klink opened the outer office.

Loud pained screams sounded from the outer office. Then banging on the inner office door. "Let me in!"

"Sir?" Carter asked.

"If we open that door we'll be stormed and attacked as well." Hogan said.

The pounding stopped and they heard Klink outside, screaming. The three ran to the window to see him get into his car and drive out of camp followed by the bees. He was no doubt going to the hospital. Hogan opened the window and climbed out followed by Carter. They cautiously moved toward the bees' hole and looked; none were coming at them. Hogan ran and grabbed a VERY large rock and tossed onto the opening of the hole. "Now they'll have to find another place to stay." Hogan said leading Carter back to the barracks.

When they got there Newkirk had the makeshift first aid kits ready, with Wilson on hand. "Blimey, are you two alright?"

Carter and Hogan were panting. They exchanged a glance then nodded. "Just stung a few times. Not too bad though."

Wilson rolled his eyes. What was with these men always taking risks? He sighed. "Come one let's see how bad."

Hogan and Carter followed Wilson into the Colonel's office. Wilson closed the door. "Have a seat."

Carter and Hogan exchanged another glance then winced. "We may not be able to do that."

"Why not?" Wilson asked a bit confused.

"Uhm…" Carter shuffled his feet. "Well, we kind of got stung…"

Wilson dropped his arms and laughed. "You're kidding! On your…" He pointed to his back side.

The two men nodded, a bit embarrassed and sheepish.

Wilson put his head in his hand and laughed.

The two weren't amused.

"Alright let's start with the ones that aren't in an awkward place."

Carter revealed his neck. And Hogan his hands.

In the other room, Newkirk was resisting the urge to laugh; he was listening at the door. One things for sure, they wouldn't live it down, but if they knew that he knew, he could get demoted! They both outranked him. So instead…

KNOCK! KNOCK!

"Yes?" Wilson called.

"Need a hand?" Newkirk offered.

There was some protest from the other men on the other side of the door but seeing as when the colonel is… 'injured', Wilson can make medical related orders. Or so he would say. "Come on in!" A laugh was evident in his voice.

Yes, the two would never live it down. Even Klink would make them feel it, when he got back from the hospital… hopefully the bees didn't nest in the cooler nest.

…

XD I hate wasps too! I have to deal with them EVERY YEAR! Let's see where they put their nest this year.

I feel like a jerk making the boys get stung on the back side. I'm sorry boys! I've been stung plenty of times before, so I can sympathize. XD Anyone else have issues with wasps or bees or other cruel insects that enjoy inflicting pain. Or Mosquitoes I am NOT looking forward to them this summer. LOL

Just something I thought I'd write to get you into the summer mood… kind of. It's coming on us fast!

RANDOM FACT OF THE DAY: Wasps aren't specifically bees, they can be ants also. They are a kind of insect that can be predatorily and even eat its own kind; often helps in population control. They can live in nests in trees not just underground or in mud. The wasps mentioned in the fic could even be Yellow jackets which are a form of wasp. They are often aggressive and live underground.


End file.
